The Soft Young Down of Her
The days were short and the trees bare by the time he returned to the village in the valley. Twelve long months away, living hand to mouth: working the land, birthing lambs – whatever he could get.
He’d thought of her all year like no other – the soft down of her arms, her budding breasts, her spirit bright and nervous as a newly fledged Dunnock. But so young – and what had he to offer?
Now her face told it all: frosted ice over deep water. In his absence someone had taken what he hadn’t dared to touch. He was a fool.
M J Lewis
Arrived very late last week at Friday Fiction and apologies for doing hardly any visiting and commenting.
Thanks to Rochelle for all her hard work keeping us in order week after week and for also providing the photo this week. To visit more stories inspired by this photo prompt click here.
The title of my piece is a line taken from The Farmer’s Bride by Charlotte Mew.
Poignant and beautifully rendered
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Thank you Neil.
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I hate when that happens. He fantasized about her for a year, but someone else got the goods. Beautifully descriptive language. I could feel his pain and disappointment.
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Glad you liked it! 🙂
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Oh this is so sad… and there are always that take and never give… so sad, the language so deep with descriptions.
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This is so sad. It’s always the quiet, thoughtful ones who miss out because someone else just comes, and takes. Beautifully told story of hardship and loss.
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I seem to be making everyone sad this week! Thanks for your lovely comments.
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“frosted ice over deep water”
I love that line.
Tracey
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Thanks Tracey.
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Terribly sad. Terribly so.
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Poor chap. Life (and her) has moved on without him. Wonderfully descriptive!
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Moral of the tale: Don’t be too afraid to ask for what you want. Well told.
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Beautifully written. So much said… Kudos.
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An elegant piece. Very nicely done.
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Dear Miranda,
Sad story, Well written.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Excellent piece, love it.
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Thanks for your kind comments. Glad it hit the spot.
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Wonderfully told. I love the images you use to describe his thoughts of her, and the contrasting shock at the end is so well put. – the ice covering it all.
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Thank you Margaret. I always enjoy your lovely comments.
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