Under the Pier
My older sisters were both stunningly pretty. I claimed awkwardness and the sort of shy cleverness that upsets most people.
‘Look out for each other,’ Mum would call as we left for the beach. As if.
He looked after the dodgems noon until midnight, breaks around four and eight. Sometimes I met him for both. My cheek against his ribcage, I’d listen to his heart. He smelt of sweat and damp caravans.
‘Reckon she fancies him,’ one sister quipped and the other flicked back her hair. They turned and as he winked I licked the salty taste of summertime from my chapped lips.
Miranda Lewis 2020
Welcome to Friday Fiction where, as we hunker down in the Northern hemisphere to our various (vastly curtailed) mid-winter festivities, a gentle summer breeze blew through my sitting room. For more salty tales from around the globe click here.
Thanks as ever to our host Rochelle whose story definitely inspired mine this week. What is it about fairgrounds and pleasure gardens, throughout time and location, that allow their visitors to cross class barriers and other taboos?
Thanks also to Roger Bultot for the phot and to all who visit, most especially those who stay to comment.
Wonderful smells and tastes
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Thanks Neil.
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Great sense of place and that shy burgeoning romance. Nice one.
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Thank you!
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Dear Miranda,
Great use of the five senses in this. Well done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Thanks Rochelle. Glad you enjoyed it.
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Cinderella comes to my mind, but I know that I am wrong.
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I hadn’t thought of that, but how fascinating. Those old tales really worked didn’t they so subconsciously perhaps Cinderella is in there – a reverse Cinderella with two beautiful sisters and a prince from the wrong side of the tracks!
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A symbiotic bud blooms. Erotic tale!
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Glad it hit the spot!
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Young forbidden romance. You described it so well. Nicely done!
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Thanks Brenda. The best sort of romance!
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Ah, those were the days… nicely remembered.
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Complete fiction of course! Thanks Sandra.
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Subtly erotic and quite sensual!
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Glad you enjoyed it!
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You had me experiencing the heartbeat and the salty lips. Well done.
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Those hundred words can go a long way! Thanks for your lovely comment.
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Wonderfully descriptive, your words brought the scene to life.
My story!
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Thanks Keith.
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This was a treat for the senses!
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Thanks Dale! It’s a treat to have such discerning readers.
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🙂
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Nicely penned!
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Love the description “He smelt of sweat and damp caravans.”
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