Sheep walks into a diner (three)

As life gets more strange for us all, sheep and squirrel walk into the diner, perhaps for the last time for some time.


Sheep Walks into a Diner (Three)

Sheep: The nut roast! You didn’t want to come and now it’s the nut roast!

Squirrel: Well, we’re here now.

Sheep: One last carrot and camomile smoothie, I said. You’re not even a proper vegan. And after all the fuss about me going to the fleece-dresser.

Squirrel: I just said it’s not safe.

Sheep: You questioned whether my ample backside was two metres from my face, as I recall.

Squirrel: I was explaining social distancing. And I’m sure I didn’t say backside.

Sheep: I just want to look nice. Is that so bad? For my wildflower grazing project. Dolly’s been on the website two years running. Just one time – why can’t it be me?

Waitress: Nut roast with all the trimmings? Carrot and camomile smoothie?

Squirrel: Thank you.

Sheep: That waitress always looks at me funny and now she’s standing practically on the other side of the room. What’s that all about?

Squirrel: You don’t even know it’s going ahead. It might not be safe.

Sheep: Standing around in a meadow munching? It’s what sheep do best.

Squirrel: You’d need to cut out all the gossiping under the trees.

Sheep: Gossiping! We’re digesting. And why would I even want to gossip with Dolly? You know she had her ancestry done – pure Jacob, back twenty-six generations. I ask you.

Squirrel: Anyway I think your fleece looks…

Sheep: Don’t say it, just don’t say it. Please.

Squirrel: I just think it looks lovely as it is.

Miranda 2020

Stay safe folks. x